38 / 366

We had our first Asian Showcase rehearsal today at four, an hour after school. So I killed that hour by going to the Biotech meeting and then just chilling with my peeepz. The rehearsal itself went alright, I think, considering it's the first time all the clubs were coordinating and stuff. It kind of just hit me that I'm going to have to perform in front of like ... people. I haven't done this kind of thing since maybe elementary school haha, I'm getting a little nervous. We'll be alright though, I'm sure.

37 / 366

I am definitely a day behind on this, but I just can't seem to find the time to do anything anymore. Every single day this week I'm going to be so crazy busy it's ridiculous. I have way too much stress on me right now.

So today (yesterday, as I write this) was my last high school academic award. I'm sure it was supposed to be really sentimental and touching and I was supposed to break down and weep because that era is coming to a close, but surprisesurprise -- I didn't. I have never had a pleasant academic awards experience, even though they happen biannually and I got one every time. They just always happened to be days where I clashed really badly with my mom and I've gone to more than one suppressing tears and feeling worthless. It wasn't that bad this time, though, just uneventful.

36 / 366

I woke up way too early at 7:50, not getting my full eight hours wah. I waited for the rest of my family to wake up and get ready, then we went to church and worshipped and communioned and all that. Afterwards, we stopped by Carl's Jr., which in retrospect was probably a really bad idea because later on in the afternoon we went to my cousin's birthday/Superbowl party where they were serving tons of terrible food and yeah. I felt really guilty eating anything, but I continued to do so. And I also drank soda so I semi-hate myself now. 

The Superbowl itself was not even a good game. I was going for the Patriots and therefore made a complete fool of myself yelling at the television while everyone else in the room was celebrating. I'm not even that big of a Patriots fan, but I just hate the feeling of losing haha. So I'm 1 for 3 this weekend for sports events, ugh. My cousins were kind enough to console me with the prospect of going out for Fenton's ice cream next week, so I have made a full recovery! Haha. And after I digested all of that greasy and delicious food I felt a little better because I still adhered to my "no eating after 6" rule and drank a lot of water when I got home. The brand-new zits on my face, however, are a totally different story. 

This weekend was toooo short, and it looks like I'll have no time to rest in the week ahead. Wohooo. 

35 / 366

Started out the day in a foul mood, probably because I had really tormenting dreams the night before. So I was basically hating myself and feeling blah. I promised myself that I would catch up on my novel, buuuuuut ... distractions came in the form of Tumblr and Facebook and just really random browsing that I was doing in order to prolong my procrastination. I only ended up doing less than a thousand words, because at the last minute I decided to call one of my friends and ask if she was going to the basketball game and yeah, we ended up going.

And okay, we lost, but it was only by two points and we were winning for most of the game anyways. I'm still so proud of the boys because they held up against the #3 ranked team in the state! In my opinion they're way overrated, or at least, we're way underrated at #8 if we could take them like that. After the game, I found that I wasn't that mad at myself anymore, even though given the circumstances I probably should be more mad!

34 / 366

I. Love. My. Huskies! There is no better win than a win that occurs within the last two minutes of a game, aaaaaah! The game was hours ago and I'm still freaking out a little because I'm so proud of the boys. We're ranked #1 in the area now, ayeee!

On the down side, I broke a promise to myself today because I got carried away -- which really is no excuse because that would have been a perfect opportunity. SIGH. Kill me now. I was so close, but further away than ever. Why do I do these things to myself? 

33 / 366

I'm operating under the illusion that I have no real homework, so I'm really not doing anything, even though I know that I should be studying and writing and other such boring things. One more day until the weekend! I feel like my weekends are getting shorter; I don't have time to do anything anymore. This is not good.

I felt like a bitch today because I just found myself completely ignoring freshmen who tried to talk to me, and there was all this guilt because I'm such an unkind person. I should probably stop believing I am above all underclassmen and they are not worthy of my precious time because who knows? They might be more than obnoxious brats trying to get on my good side so I can help them out when I grade their tests!

I'm getting more discouraged by the day, boy-wise, and I feel really self-conscious just writing about this haha. Erica = pathetic.

I wish I could just skip the whole school portion of tomorrowwwww. Hurray for actually having plans for afterwards, even if it's just hanging out with friends and going to a basketball game! Okay, and I'm promising myself that, if opportunities present themselves tomorrow, I'm not going to throw them away like last week (but really, knowing me, those promises will be broken). asdjfkl;asjldf; UGH.

32 / 366

Wooooo February. Probably my least favorite month ever because of that whole dreaded Valentine's day thing. Ew. #bittersinglegirlproblems 

I feel like there's just too much information that my teachers are throwing in my direction and I just can't handle it anymore. I'm doing progressively worse in all of my classes; I don't even understand half of what's going on in AP Econ anymore, and it's scary because I'm not used to feeling so incompetent when it comes to academics. I'm stressing out so much, it's not even cool anymore. My brain can only handle so much information at a time before things start slipping through the cracks. I'm sure this will get better in time but for now I'm feeling totally overwhelmed and I don't know what to do. 

On a ~positive~ note, I totally think that this obnoxious freshman in the class that I TA for is trying to hit on me or something so that I'll grade his quizzes easier. Nahhhhh man, nahhhhhh. 

My brief and unexplained era of good humor has, obviously, gone with January. xoxoxoxo